Archive for the ‘Life’ Category

(In)Finite

Tuesday, November 11th, 2008

There are a lot of ideas floating around in my head right now that I wish I had the time and energy (and funding) to attempt.  Every day, my work as a grad student (read: professional Internet surfer) brings me new and interesting projects to attempt.  Most recently, I stumbled across the Arduino development board over at Sparkfun (if you don’t know the website I’m talking about, this discussion might bore you anyway).  There are at least half a dozen things I could instantly think to try with these, perhaps more.  I have never considered myself much of an ideas person, so this newfound restlessness and eagerness to create has me a little off kilter.  It has introduced yet another force into my life that competes constantly with other things like friends, education, work, sleep, etc for my time and energy.

A guy I work with here at ND had an interesting insight when I mentioned to him my time/priorities woes concerning an idea I wanted to try.  He said, “In my many years doing this kind of design work, I’ve found that any human being has time for maybe a dozen or so serious projects in his or her lifetime.”  It’s scary to think that I can come up with a lifetime worth of work during an idle moment on a busy afternoon.  I’m quickly learning that despite the extreme creative, physical, or intellectual energy I may have, there comes a time where one begins to realize that such energies are tragically finite, and prioritization of ‘projects of passion’ is the key to happiness.

This is perhaps the key to getting old.  When you’re a child, the sky is the limit and you’ll have time somewhere down the road to think, see, and explore every corner of your wildest imagination.  At age 22, I have finally run headlong into the mortality of the human mind.  What each of us does here is  finite.  Most of it goes with us when we are done.  The key is to find those things that are so important to you, that your passion for them will endow them with sufficient love and energy to carry on into the future.  That is immortality.

“What we do in life, echoes in eternity.”

Quick Update

Sunday, November 9th, 2008

I’m taking a short break from homework this evening to write a few things down.  I haven’t updated here in quite and while - something which probably needs to change.  I go through my days realizing that one of the personal advantages of blogging, writing, journaling, etc, is that it helps to sort out my thoughts and give a decent hindsight record for the things I do/say/think at any given point in time.  My personal style borders on the memoryless - that is, I have a 48-hour horizon in front and behind me that essentially comprises all things I am currently thinking about.  Everything else needs to be recorded and referenced for later.  Otherwise, it disappears into the void.

Speaking of which, I’ve been messing around with the GTD app “Things”, in both its mobile iPhone and Mac-based incarnations.  I have to say that it has been really useful so far and I hope to have the discipline to keep working with it, as well as the money ($40) to buy a permanent copy of it when revision 1 comes out here in January.  My only major criticism of the app is that sync is a complete mess.  The app tries to sync over your local WiFi network, which works fine if it’s your personal home wireless network.. but ND’s wireless network kills Things’ efforts to sync.  Something more robust and useable in the wide world (inlcuding wired, bluetooth, and over-the-net syncing) would be most favorable.

Running a 5k with no consistent training or running habits hurts.  I finished the race with a surprisingly decent time given my running history, but the hurt in my legs and joints right now reminds me just how out of shape I am.  I estimate that I’m about 15 pounds overweight right now and am trying to piece together some new excercise habits by the end of the semester.  With enough discipline I should be able to get my weight and general fitness back to ~Summer 2007 levels.  I was very proud of how hard I managed to train that summer and hope that I have it in me to achieve that again.

On the football front.. I can’t really report much.  ND Football is essentially in shambles again as we witnessed another pathetic loss to BC.  I always try to err on the side of positive thinking with this team, but these last few losses really confirm it:  the team is deflated.  They played with no heart.  Boneheaded mistakes combined with a lack of any semblence of intensity has me seriously considering the possibility that we will not go to a bowl this year - something I considered impossible in September.

My work project has picked up a little.  We’re moving closer to something tangible on this project and I’m very anxious to work with the new hardware when it comes back from the board house (actually, I need to send it to the board house first).

Outside of the project, there is academic hell.  I find myself harboring intense loathing for my classes and at least one of my professors.  Grad school classes are supposed to be hard.  I understand that.  What I can’t figure out is their approach to ‘mastery’ of the material.  Admittedly, some of my background is rather weak (I suck at calculus), but the way I struggle along with my peers suggests that the profs are more concerned with messing with our heads than they are with actual learning.  TCEs are going to be ugly.  The one saving grace is that I’m fairly confident re-tooling my area of concentration within EE will solve some of these problems.  I’m a highly visual/spatial/big-picture person and at least two of the courses I have lined up for next semester will serve those tendencies well (I hope).

I could spend hours on any of these subjects, but my 15-minute break is up.  Random Vect homework continues to be frustrating beyond reason.  I hope I sleep tonight.

Rolling Right Along

Saturday, September 20th, 2008

The Michigan State game was a little disappointing, but nothing to get too terribly riled up about.  Both teams fought hard and the Irish were unfortunately on the receiving end of some bad luck and unfortunate plays.  I have a great deal of confidence in our schedule from here on out (that is, except for USC, but I always hope to beat them anyways).  It’s been fun so far to see the band and the new drum majors out on the field or on tv.  The three of them are looking more comfortable every week and I hope (for my own ego’s sake) that somehow my legacy has influenced them in some way.

Nerd alert:  That said, they’d better be ready to throw down some sick mace action Stanford weekend.

There are many other things going on that I could rant about tonight, but probably not now.  Also, if you are so inclined, check out the official A State of Trance podcast on the iTMS.  I won’t say that Armin is for everybody, but I certainly enjoy his work.  Check it out.

Relapse

Sunday, July 27th, 2008

I have to say that I’ve been missing WoW for the first time in a year.  No ideas yet as to why, but I’m using every ounce of my strength to avoid it.  This may have something to do with the untimely death of my gaming computer and my current quest to rebuild it.  Somehow I need a game to justify rebuilding this thing and with the new expansion coming up, returning to my old MMO ways could be it.

With grad school starting in full force, this is obviously a bad idea.  I probably won’t return, but just feel weird because if there ever was a ‘withdrawal’ period, this is certainly it.

Back in the US

Wednesday, June 11th, 2008

China was all kinds of awesome.  I was a huge fan of the food and thoroughly enjoyed seeing such an ancient yet rapidly-changing country.  If you’re a fan of facebook, I’m sure you’ve seen most of the pictures by now.  There was a lot to see and a lot to reflect on, and hopefully I will get down to writing a more thorough breakdown of all of the things that happened over there.  My family enjoyed the gifts I brought back for them, including the paintings for my mom, the sword for John’s graduation, and the jade pillow for my grandma (oh yeah, and everyone else got chopsticks and a sake set).  I had the most intense case of ‘it’s a small world’ on the way back - a prof I had interviewed with for a position at Purdue was sitting in the Tokyo Narita International Airport waiting for the same flight back to the States.  There was a brief and awkward moment of recognition followed by the silent agreement that we weren’t going to exchange a single word for the duration of our travels.

Right now I’m looking at closing out my first two weeks a graduate student here at ND.  The project I’m working on is pretty cool and I’m really hoping that my efforts on it this summer make a good impression with my advisor and the EE department as a whole.  Even though I’m already known around here, I feel like I had never had or taken the opportunity to really shine and show these people what I can do.  I have had my advisor and the two other CCLI faculty on this project as class professors before, but it’s been almost two years since those classes and it’s time to reestablish myself with them.

The CCLI investigation should have me playing with the RPI Mobile Studio IO Board project for a while.  It’s unknown as to whether or not we will eventually adopt this learning system as a stepping off point for the curriculum changes proposed in the project, or if the lessons learned from exploring with the board this summer will convince us that the entire solution needs to be packaged in-house.

The band softball team is kicking butt already.  We destroyed Beers Law 20-1 on Tuesday and hope to repeat this accomplishment against Eigenvalues tomorrow.  The team has been a cool way to keep in touch with many band people, some graduated, some not.  EO and Merten are on the team and they always seem to add their own bits of fun and personality to things.  Hopefully I will stay in touch with them throughout the awkward grad years.

Outside of research I have been keeping busy scrounging for an extra part-time job and working out whenever I can motivate myself to do so.  It’s hard to get the routine going again, but I’m confident that something will solidify by the end of the month.  China jet-lag had me getting up early enough in the morning to allow time to run and eat a healthy breakfast, but alas the insomnia has worn off and I am back to my old ways.  It would help a lot if I could find a consistent lifting partner.

I was cool to be home and see my brother’s graduation party.  Both John and Mike are headed off to college this coming fall.  The inter-school rivalry (however small) between Notre Dame and Purdue should provide a few laughs next year (God, I hope we win).  I’m sure that John will have a good time at Purdue.  It’s a good school with a lot going on and many different niches to find, including clubs, academic societies, and band.  My parents think he wants to transfer to ND for his sophomore year, but knowing John he’ll probably settle in just fine and find his own identity in West Lafayette.  Notre Dame is a great place but I think my experience here may have skewed his expectations of the atmosphere and the people.  I’m sure he would have been happy here, but sometimes these things happen for a reason and he will end up wowing some people at Purdue.

That what I have for now.  I keep promising myself that these updates will get more regular so that the quality of each topic will get better and less rambling.  Alas, I will have to save that for the next post.

-R

China!

Thursday, May 22nd, 2008

We’ve been in China for a couple of days now.  The sights have been really cool, including the Great Wall, Tiannamen Square, Forbidden City, and the Imperial Summer Palace. The food has been really good, albeit a little strange at times - I think it has freaked out more than a few people on this trip.  Last night someone in our group started a rumor that the soup was ‘pig brain soup’, causing a brief panic amongst the more squeamish individuals.

I hope to try deep-fried scorpions before we leave.  I’ll post a more detailed update later on.

Pushing paper

Monday, January 7th, 2008

My Christmas break job gives me a newer, more expanded appreciation for the fact that I am not majoring in accountancy. It never ceases to amaze me that a single transaction, even for something as simple as a waffle iron rental, can generate such a flurry of papers, checks, forms, and other strange actions simply to ensure that somebody (read: nobody) will be able to refer to it seven years later.

Good grief. At least the money is good. I’m back in the ‘Bend on Saturday.

Passing the torch

Monday, December 10th, 2007

Tomorrow brings the final decision.  Though I am relieved to be effectively ‘retired’ from this adventure, I do not relish that which will be my final act: to make three people exceptionally happy, and three others equally unhappy.  All of them are great people and I have been glad to work with them throughout the entire process.

Though it does not affect me directly, it is still an emotional thing.  This marks the point where I no longer have any direct control over the content of my legacy.  These three talented people will carry it on in their actions in the coming years.  I can only hope that they will count me among those who inspired them to do greater things.

It’s funny, talking about my own legacy.  I don’t believe I’ve ever left anything that can be significantly referred to as a ‘legacy’.  Most people go through countless years of life before they can truthfully claim to have ‘left something behind for those that follow’.  A lot of this is egotistical nonsense, but it still rings of truth.  I have never been a part of something so much bigger than myself and truly hope that I have left it positively imprinted.

Fall Break, grad apps, and a special shout-out

Friday, October 26th, 2007

How to make fall break more work than real school: Finish all of your graduate school and grad financial aid applications. Done and Done. Okay, I admit, I watched all six episodes of Star Wars today. Since the band officers are not here, I’m not going to bother with the nerd bust. Our secret. Shhhhhh.

In the midst of my application blitz, here’s what we’ve got going so far…

Princeton University (EE) : Done

UC Berkeley (EECS) : Done

Purdue University (EECS) : Virtually finished

MIT (EECS) : Personal Statement pending

University of Notre Dame (EE) : Started

NSF Fellowship Grant : Mountain of essays pending

I thought I swore these things off four years ago. Alas, it would seem that life is one giant form. On a good note, I can now spew useless personal information at record speeds.

As it is now appropriately after midnight and therefore Friday, I’d like to say happy anniversary to Brittany. I cannot believe three years have gone by so quickly. You’re the best person I know and I love every minute I’m around you.

kinxandme

The squirrels! The squirrels!

I love you.

Oose over and out. Hopefully this post constitutes a much more honest effort on my part towards actually writing on a regular basis. It’s been a crazy fall so far and I’m sure at some point I’ll get to writing about all of the other things going down in the ‘Bend. Stories, thoughts, and shenanigans from the ladder are due in my next post.

Football: Since when did winning stop being a win?

Sunday, September 3rd, 2006

Another season of Irish Football has begun.

I must congratulate the Irish on a hard-fought win yesterday. Those inclined to say that we barely won obviously did not watch the game. We fought through a slow start against a legitimately good football team coming off of many months of hard scouting and game preparation. They hit on the right weaknesses and forced us to adapt and play a great football game. I don’t know when outscoring an opponent 14-10 stopped counting as a victory. The pollsters hold it against us when the Irish beat the snot out of Navy, and simulateously congratulate others on an ‘amazing’ 50-point blowout of North Texas.

Check your attitude at the door. Go IRISH